Panic Starting to Set In

Most of you know I am very structured;  I like consistency, routine  - a plan that I can follow each day.  I pretty much eat the same thing each morning, lunch, and dinner.    I shop at the same stores (Whole Foods and Trader Joes!!), always on Sundays, for the meals for the week.  I sit in the same seat on the train, start my day off at work the same way - always writing a To Do list, use the same locker at the gym, and run on the same treadmill.   I think that you get the point.  If I have a plan of what I am to do, I am happy.

For the last two weeks since I made my decision, I have been walking around telling my family, friends, and co-workers of my goal.   All talk....and the more and more I said it, the more I got the 'Holy Shit' feeling.  There was nothing to back the talk that I was saying.  I had no plan, nothing to grasp on to to make me happy, to make me feel comfortable on what I was doing.

The reason for this:  Research!  There is so much information on the web and books you can read it was overwhelming.  I am not the type of person to still and actually read the info.  I lose patience after about 10 minutes in and move to the next thing.   I must have sat down or started about 15 times in the last two weeks, always ending in the same place....tomorrow I will do it!   I wanted the info to magically appear that I could use to plan out what I needed to do.  

Thankfully a little help did come my way.  Well...come may way may be a little stretching it.  More like me panicking and emailing for help.  My bootcamp instructor, Ariane (she's done a bunch of tris and is doing the Providence one) sent me a link to a site she used for her first tri.    She has gotten a few other panic emails (probably more than she would like) from me over the last few months and is great.  Never lets me give into the panic, always giving me some piece of information to guide me in the right direction.  Cut the crap - just do it.

Finally I had some focus on where to go.    I then forced myself to go to Barnes and Noble and go through each of the books they had on the shelf to find one that fit my needs.

With the training site and book in my hand, I did what I do on my work projects,  I mapped out the next several months in a calendar, put in time needed, added risks of where work will get busy, family functions etc.  Funny how when you do this things seem a lot simpler.  My 'Oh Shit what am I Doing' feeling has gone to a 'Oh Shit, that's a lot of work but I can do it' feeling.   My plan is started....I have a goal and a path to take to achieve it.  I am smiling now and ready to go.   If you are wondering what it will take, here is a sample of my plan.   Still a work in progress, but a good, happy start.

Training starts on Monday!!!